Saturday, July 9, 2011

I'm praying for you...

It's hard to believe, but yesterday marked a full year since I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). I have learned a lot about MS in the past year, and have come to the conclusion that no two people experience MS in the same way. In fact, no two days are even the same for me. On some days, I don’t notice a single symptom while on other days I have multiple symptoms. On all days I try my best not to make an issue of it… But there are times when I just can’t suppress how I’m feeling.

This was the case a few days ago. I was talking to my parents on the phone and couldn’t hold it in any longer. I had a little breakdown when I was describing some of the issues I’ve been experiencing lately. When I started describing some my cognitive issues (short term memory loss, confusion, etc.), I pretty much lost it. I even said the words “I’m scared”. I hate it when I feel that way because I really do believe that where faith resides, fear fails.

Following our phone conversation, Mom sent me an e-mail that ended with these simple words: “I’m praying for you. Love, Mom”. And I know she is (praying for me). And I know that nothing she could do or say, even as my Mom, brings the kind of power that her prayers do.

So here’s my confession: My first thought was “but I need you to help me, to fix this, to do something Motherly… I need you to do more than pray.”

Wait… What?!?! Really?!?! Is my faith really that weak that I would depend on another human as opposed to the One who created me? The One who loves me more than I could ever fathom? In Tweetspeak… #epic #fail.

I'm beginning to realize I do that way too often.

"Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life." Philippians 4:6 (MSG)

6 comments:

  1. You're amazing Rebecca. I look forward to many more blog posts.

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  2. Welcome to the world my sweet friend! Love that you will share here! Love you and praying for you too!

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  3. I love your blog, and I love your header, and the title! I will be following it!

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  4. What a heartfelt, genuine post! You know we're praying for you too - and if you didn't, you do now. ;-)
    Keep it up!

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