Monday, October 20, 2014

Granny Gear (thank you, Jesus)

So on Friday I had surgery to remove a bit of cancer from one of my tatas. I'm told it appears to be noninvasive and early stage (thank you, Jesus), so once my incision heals I will undergo daily radiation for 4-6 weeks and then I'll be in the free and clear. So, yeah... How's that for an opening paragraph to a blog post?*

I found out about this diagnosis on the day I was leaving to go to the Bike MS event, where I spent a weekend discovering strength I didn't even know I had with some of my closest girlfriends, including Tina, a breast cancer survivor and wise counsel to boot. We laughed until we cried that weekend and I can't imagine the timing being any better (thank you, Jesus).

Here's a confession, though. Sometimes I feel like a fraud when people tell me how strong they think I am and today has been one of those days. Today I've felt like I'm staring up a hill that I just don't have the energy -- or maybe even the desire -- to climb. Today I'm over it. Today I don't want to be the person whose strength others admire. Today I want to hitch a ride.

...But I've seen this hill before.

I know the descent after this climb will be so much fun. I know I'll look back at this and say "that wasn't so bad". I know I need this hill to reach my destination. 

But most of all I know someday this hill will just be a memory so until then I'll just leave the bike in granny gear and keep on pedaling. 

And pedaling. 

And pedaling some more... 

All the while thankful I'm not on this hill alone (thank you, Jesus).

Tina and me at the Bike MS event. We had just finished climbing one of the day's big hills... And then we ate some cookies.

*Please know I am fine, well taken care of and in great hands both medically and here at home. Mike even did ALL of the laundry this weekend... Every. Single. Bit. This in and of itself almost makes the whole ordeal worth it. 


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