Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Contradictions

You know how I said in my last post that I've written a bunch of blog posts in my head in the nearly two years since I last posted here?  Well this is one of them.

In one word (at a time), here are words I can use to describe myself:


brave
scared
friendly
reserved
enthusiastic
lazy
confident
insecure
sensitive
insensitive
awesome
not awesome
funny
intense
forgiving
bitter
anxious
content
compassionate
indifferent
affectionate
numb
smart
inferior

When I ponder the above adjectives/feelings, I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that at any given time I can exude all, some, or maybe even none of those descriptions.

At any given time I can also trick myself into believing that I AM one or more of these descriptions... Like my entire existence is so unvarying that only one word can describe it.

These thoughts can be dangerous and lead to self-criticism (or self-adoration) that serve no purpose other than to artificially deflate or inflate my own self-worth.

I doubt I'm alone in this, too, so if you're telling yourself today that "I AM so     " or "I AM such a     ", I've got news for you (and me)...  We're not. Not always. Maybe for this moment or this day or this season in our life, but we can't be defined by one single word*.  Let's try to let go of those words we use to define ourselves and JUST BE.

* Except for this word: LOVED.  And the same goes for you. YOU ARE LOVED.

Make sure you remember that the next time you tell yourself you are not awesome.

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